Are you a woman who plays by the rules, but feels like you’re constantly watching your dreams slip away? Do you wonder why “nice girls” don’t always win? You’re supposed to, right? You might be unknowingly harboring some of these five traits that are stealing your dreams, or at a minimum, sabotaging your success. Time to uncover whether you’ve got some traits sending your dreams to the graveyard.
5 Dream-Stealing Traits
5. You’re Too Nice
Do you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own, even at the expense of your own well-being? Do you avoid conflict at all costs? Being “too nice” often translates to putting aside your wants and needs and minimizing your self-worth. You might feel a constant sense of resentment, a feeling of being taken advantage of, or a nagging sense that you’re living someone else’s life. Honey, once upon a time I was there.
Nice girls don’t have to finish last. You’ll need to do the work to understand how and when kindness turns into people-pleasing and getting taken advantage of.
4. You Settle
Do you find yourself accepting less than what you know in your heart you deserve? Whether it be in your relationships, career, finances, or personal life? Do you tell yourself that “good enough” is “enough”, even when you really do want more? Settling leads to a sense of stagnation and unfulfillment. You might experience a constant feeling of “what if,” a sense of being trapped, or a deep-seated dissatisfaction and resentment of others who haven’t settled.
Settling is a form of self-sabotage when it comes to our dreams. Question your beliefs about what you deserve. Examine the feeling of “settling” and what that truly means for you.
3. You Have Weak Boundaries
Do you find yourself constantly feeling overwhelmed or drained by other people’s problems? Do you struggle to say “no,” even when you’re stretched thin? PTA and soccer parent lead and volunteer extraordinaire who checks in on her parents a few times a week, sends her younger siblings money when they need it, and is always there for a friend?
Even when none of this is reciprocated? Weak boundaries allow others to drain your energy and dictate your time. You might feel resentful, exhausted, or like you’re constantly putting out fires. It’ll feel even worse if you’re an empath, like me. This is a definite dream-killer, since it leaves little energy for you to build the life you want from.
Boundaries are not about being mean, but about protecting your energy and well-being. Start noticing the feeling of your boundaries being crossed.
2. You Step Back
Do you find yourself hesitating to take risks or seize opportunities, even when they align with your dreams? Do you downplay your achievements or avoid the spotlight? Stepping back prevents you from fully embracing your potential. You might feel a sense of regret, a feeling of being invisible, or a constant fear of being “too much.” Others may have said something to you in the past, causing you to shrink or dull your light so you don’t stand out too much.
Explore the roots of your fear of stepping forward. Notice the feeling of holding yourself back.
1. You’re Comfortable (Enough)
Oh isn’t it just so cozy here. Okay, maybe not that cozy, comfy. Well, maybe not that comfy…but comfy enough.. I mean, it’ll do. This dream killer is definitely related to settling, like her twin sister. You’re willing to stay there in your comfort zone, even when it’s not that comfortable, just because the alternative is unknown.
Do you find yourself staying in your comfort zone, even when you know you’re capable of more? Do you avoid challenges or change, even when your heart craves growth? Being “comfortable enough” leads to stagnation and a slow erosion of your dreams. It’s like a lobster in a nice warm tub of water, getting hotter and hotter, the discomfort never enough for it to try to escape. Some signs you’ve gotten a little too comfortable in a situation you’ve outgrown is that you feel bored, feel stuck, or even have the nagging sensation you are wasting your potential and your gifts.
Your true growth is going to happen outside your comfort zone. Notice the feeling of being “comfortable” and what it is costing you.
Do You Have Any of These 5 Dream-Stealing Traits?
If these traits resonate with you, know that you’re not alone. As a mentor, I’ve helped people like you break through these same mistakes and done it for myself as well.
Let me know which of these traits are stealing your dreams.
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